All my young life, I used to tell my Mom, I was going to DIE before I turned '19'...
She would get MAD at me & tell me to STOP saying that.. She said I was being MORBID.. I wasn't though.. I had ALWAYS #FELT that I would DIE before reaching '19'yrs old... Everyone said I was being WEIRD etc.. But I was born with a Gift that ..back THEN, I didn't fully understand.. (Now I do, Very Well!)
When 'I' was '18' yrs old.. (a long time ago lol) On NOVEMBER 10th at '4:15' Cali Time.. My Boyfriend & 'I' were involved in a TERRIBLE "HEAD ON" COLLISION with a Drunk Driver.. It was a Car full of Young Guys from Mexico.. I lived in Central Cali at the time.. (San Joaquin Valley) We were on our way to Fresno..
No One in Our car had been drinking.. it WAS the afternoon../ Early evening..
We were driving through the Curvy, '2 lane' roads... I saw the Car come around the corner in our lane.. it Side Swiped the car ahead of us.. but it kept coming in our lane..Both cars were going about 45mph... We were between '2' hills..My Boyfriend had said he TRIED to turn the wheel to either side to swerve..but something kept pulling the wheel back..to make it straight.. I remember Screaming & Crossing my arms over my face right before the car hit us.. it was DIRECT "HEAD-ON".. HEADLIGHT to HEADLIGHT.. BOTH cars were TOTALED.. They looked very much alike actually.. I guess I passed out cause the next thing I can remember is.. HEARING a Very Loud BANGING sound.. "Bang! Bang! Bang!" OVER & OVER .. It was getting louder & louder.. I felt myself being dragged along the ground.. I remember I kept TRYING to OPEN My eyes.. but they wouldn't open at first.. Finally they did.. Everything was blurry.. I realized I was being dragged by my Boyfriend & His cousin who was in the Front seat with us, 'I' was in the middle.. I still could hear the 'BANGING' noise but not as LOUD.. I looked up above my head & saw that the NOISE was actually 'BLOOD' dripping from my Boyfriend's face onto MY Forehead.. His face was Badly Cut Up from the glass from the windshield.. I remember Passing out & coming to.. don't know how long I was out each time, I knew I was in the field on the ground.. the next time there were Firefighters there & One was kneeling beside me covering me with a blanket.. I saw my Boyfriend across from me crying.. I kept trying to get up to go help him, but I couldn't.. Then the Fireman said "You have to lay still" I asked, 'WHY'?? He needs help, let me go help him.. He said you can't .. You can't get up.. I asked WHY again.. he said 'Because, Your Legs are Badly Broken'!! .. I was like.. HUHH?? I looked down at my legs & .. THEY LOOKED FINE TO ME".. (I was obv in SHOCK) .. I saw our Car on FIRE.. Then I remember waking up in the Ambulance .. hearing someone crying out in pain.. the Paramedic was holding an O2 mask on Me.. I said "Go help that guy>>!! " .. He said "We've done ALL we can for him!!" I was upset about that..! .. Then I woke up again in a Dark room.. On a Hard Cold Table with a SHEET covering me up to my neck/shoulders.. I started screaming!!
I KNEW 'THEY' thought 'I' was DEAD.. but I wasn't.. I kept looking around trying to SEE in the dark & I couldn't.. I kept SCREAMING "HELP ME, I'M NOT DEAD, I'M NOT DEAD.." til finally some people came running in.. They turned on the lights & said they knew I wasn't dead, No Judy you're alive now.. (I was like HUHH?) They said I was in the X-RAY room..they turned the lights off so I could RELAX..??!! I said 'WHO TURNS THE LIGHTS "OFF" WHEN YOU'RE COVERED LIKE THIS & THE PATIENT IS UNCONSCIOUS???" (lame!!) I thought YOU thought 'I' was DEAD.. I woke up AGAIN with a Dr screwing something THROUGH my knee/shin .. there were also several young student nurses in there.. I couldn't FEEL anything but blood squirted up & over me.. (lol) One of the students LOST IT.. she passed out...she fell ON TOP OF ME then slid down & hit her head on the wall (poor thing) but the Dr kept on working..he just told someone to pick her up :/ .. I was having one of my legs put in Traction.. The other leg was completely LIMP.. I could NOT FEEL IT or MOVE it.. they told me My Right FEMUR (thigh) was broken in HALF & they would have to do surgery & put a Metal Rod inside it..But I wouldn't be able to MOVE it or HAVE FEELING in it for a long time.. Then the left leg was in Traction, they said my Left Ankle was SEVERELY Broken, it had broken so badly it was literally upside down.. The bottom of my foot was facing the ceiling.. The mended it with Screws, pins & wires.. & put a 5lb cast on the left leg ~ Pulled it up in traction.. I was in Surgery ALL the NEXT DAY >>> 11/11 ..My '19th' BIRTHDAY.. I STILL hadn't seen my face.. While I was still in the Emergency Room.. They kept Looking for MY parents.. but couldn't find them, & my parents kept looking for ME .. Turns out..They had been looking for Hispanic Parents lol cause I looked Hispanic.. but Nope .. lol Anyway.. My Mom said she was terrified to SEE my face.. cause she had already seen the other people involved in the accident..Including my Boyfriend.. ALL of them were messed up, She made my Dad go in forst to see how bad my FACE was.. Thankfully, I was wearing my Coat when I crossed my arms over my FACE, 'ALL' the Glass went into the FUR around the Sleeves.. My Face wasn't CUT at ALL except for a small scratch on my chin a black eye & a soft yucky spot on my forehead..but NO Broken skin No glass.. Sadly, '2' passengers of the other car passed away (I think..) I'm POSITIVE '1' did.. I was in & out of it for a few days.. I was in the hospital for a Month.. UNABLE to Move.. Unsure IF 'I' was ever gonna be able to move my right leg again.. My Friend Eileen lived in Fresno.. She came to see me everyday.. I had very long hair, even back then, she spent HOURS pulling out the fox tails that were stuck in my hair from being dragged through the field..then she washed my hair for me.. (I couldn't move AT ALL!! I hope SHE knows how much I appreciate her! <3)
I spent Thanksgiving in the hospital.. Eileen brought me some Home made Dinner.. (Very Grateful!)
My family couldn't be there everyday.. they were working.. My Boyfriend was mending at home, an hour or more away.. not to mention we were ALL a bit PHOBIC about riding in cars through those roads again esp. the curvy hills... I was released in December.. I came home & Since my parents owned Nursing Homes, they put a Hospital bed in the house for me, I was STILL unable to walk.. I was small to begin with.. but I weighed '98lbs' when I got out, & that's including the 5lb cast.. & also the 5lb ROD inside my Right leg.. (IT SUCKED!) I had to be CARRIED Everywhere.. it was embarrassing to have my LITTLE sister even have to CARRY me to the restroom.. the entire thing was humiliating.. On February 14th, Valentine's day, I received my 1st WALKING CAST.. & Walker.. up til then, everyone would take me for walks in a wheelchair.. With ALOT of Effort & Tears.. I was able to start walking again.. I fell ALOT when I wouldn't use the walker & even when I DID! I SLOWLY got better, but.. I NEVER completely HEALED..
Before this accident.. I was.. A "RUNNER".. A "DANCER" & A "DRUMMER"..
ALL OF THOSE THINGS.. REQUIRE MY LEGS.. Even though I KNEW I WOULD "NEVER" BE THE SAME, OR BE ABLE TO DO THOSE THINGS AGAIN.. I WAS STILL VERY THANKFUL..
I WAS VERY THANKFUL I STILL HAD MY LEGS, & WAS ABLE TO AT LEAST "WALK" .. LETTING GO OF MY 'LOVES' FELT LIKE PIECES OF ME WERE BEING RIPPED AWAY..
BUT I WAS STILL VERY THANKFUL...
I WAS THANKFUL... I WAS "ALIVE"~!!.... IT WASN'T TIL A FEW YEARS LATER MY THEN BOYFRIEND, (WHO WOULD BECOME MY HUSBAND) TOLD ME..
JUDY, YOU WERE 'RIGHT'..ALL THOSE YEARS..>> WHEN YOU SAID YOU WOULD "DIE" BEFORE YOU TURNED '19' yrs OLD.. YOU WERE RIGHT....HE TOLD ME THAT >>
ACCORDING TO THE PARAMEDICS & Dr's.. I WAS "CLINICALLY" DEAD.. SEVERAL TIMES THAT DAY... "NOVEMBER 10th".. THE DAY "BEFORE" MY 19th BIRTHDAY !! ~
Like I said.. I was BORN with a Gift.. a Gift of SEEING & FEELING 'THINGS' BEFORE THEY HAPPEN...BACK THEN.. I DIDN'T UNDERSTAND IT..
BUT I DEFINITELY UNDERSTAND IT NOW.. & I 'NEVER' DOUBT THOSE FEELINGS, EVER.. CAUSE UP TO THIS DAY.. THEY'VE NEVER BEEN "WRONG" .. I'M BLESSED TO HAVE BEEN GIVEN A 2nd 3rd & even 4th CHANCE 'THAT' DAY... TOMORROW,.. '11/11 @ 11am I CELEBRATE MY BIRTH...<3 BUT 'TODAY' .. I CELEBRATE THE ANNIVERSARY OF MY '2nd' CHANCE AT 'LIFE' <3 <3 <3 .. I AM VERY THANKFUL.. EVEN THOUGH I WILL NEVER BE ABLE TO DO THE THINGS I LOVED SO SO MUCH.. AT LEAST NOT THE 'SAME' AS I ONCE DID.. I AM THANKFUL, I AM GIVEN THE OPPORTUNITY TO WORK WITH & CONTINUE ON IN THE WORK I'M MOST PASSIONATE ABOUT... MUSIC & DANCING~!! ..
I ALSO AM BLESSED THAT THE MUSIC HAS PASSED ON TO MY KIDS <3 & TO THEIR KIDS <3 ;) THEY'RE STILL VERY YOUNG, BUT THEY'RE ALREADY TRYING.. <3
NEVER EVER TAKE ONE SINGLE MINUTE OF YOUR "LIFE" FOR GRANTED!!
NEVER EVER BELIEVE.."THAT TERRIBLE THINGS CAN 'ONLY' HAPPEN TO THE "OTHER GUY".. CAUSE IT CAN & DOES HAPPEN TO MANY MANY OF US.. EVERY SINGLE DAY!! .. ALWAYS BE MINDFUL & THANKFUL FOR EACH & EVERY BLESSING.. OF EACH & EVERY BREATH YOU ARE BLESSED TO TAKE.. CAUSE YOU NEVER KNOW "WHEN" IT CAN BE 'YOUR LAST' <3 <3 <3
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